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Writer's pictureCindy Holt Smith

The Bullsh*t we tell ourselves

We tend to believethat being hard on ourselves will lead to self improvement. 


That's the bullshit we tell ourselves



I hear women (and men too) call themselves undisciplined or lazy, all the time. We think it will somehow motivate us to become a better version of ourselves. 



THAT is the BULLSHIT we tell ourselves




And the one thing that I stress to my clients is that negative reinforcement doesn’t work. Never has, and never will. 



You see, when we call ourselves "unmotivated", "lazy", or "undisciplined",

punish ourselves for having wrinkles and cellulite, eating a cookie, the carb, or the piece of cake...And criticize ourselves for not being able to loose weight(or those last 5-10 lbs,) or not looking like the face or the lifestyle that society has deemed as acceptable and attractive



And hold ourselves to the ridiculous standards of what it is to be attractive. It just fuels those feelings of inadequacy and not being enough. 



Can you relate to this?




I used to feel this way. A lot! Plenty of compassion for others, but zero compassion for myself. And one day I decided that enough was enough. I was through talking to myself like I was my own worst enemy. 



If you are relating to yourself in an unkind way it’s time to change that....and I want you to change that starting TODAY!



This is something I sharewith my private coaching clients and I want to pass it along to you! It’s simple. And effective.  




Today, pay attention to your inner dialogue,and the disempowering things are you saying to yourself. Then ask yourself if you would say it to your best friend, child, spouse, family member, or your five year old self. 




Bringing awareness is the first step to change. Now that you have awareness, reframe what you said to yourself like you were speaking to someone you love, respect, and cherish. 




Compassion is all about how we relate to ourselves; let’s relate to ourselves as our own best friend! 


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